When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
