Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
