I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
