The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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