Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
