how hairy? two words: wookie tits
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
