Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
