he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize