I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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