just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
