Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
