dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I have post one night stand depression
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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