Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
and you fell through a lawn chair
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
