When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
