i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
