Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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