I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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