oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
