So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
