sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
