Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
