It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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