He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
