stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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