saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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