hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
