How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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