just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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