If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I wish you could order shots online.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize