Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
