Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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