just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
