Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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