Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
She even gives head with a lisp.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.