hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."