We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
what day is it and did you see me today?
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!