I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
