It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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