somebody snuck up and got me drunk
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
