I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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