My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
