Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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