the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
