he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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