And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
