I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
This is the prime rib incident all over again
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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