I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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