You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
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Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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