dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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