It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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