bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Terrible idea I love it
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
