I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
