Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
