I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize