1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
