is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
