last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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