Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
