3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize