The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I want her autograph on my taint
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
