Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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