I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
