I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
