I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
